it’s not about me …

I do not mean that I am already as God wants me to be.
I have not yet reached that goal,
but I continue trying to reach it and to make it mine.
Christ wants me to do that, which is the reason
he made me his. Brothers and sisters,
I know that I have not yet reached that goal,
but there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past
and straining toward what is ahead,
I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which
God called me through Christ to the life above.
Philippians 3:12-14 {NCV}


Sigh.

Since my last post I’ve been doing a ton of thinking, praying … and believing.  You see, it’s just that … just as I felt I was breathing lighter again, a tragedy struck.  And then other things piled on top of that.  I felt like it was a dog-pile on Tracie!

I was still so raw and ripped open from my own pain, my own grieving … that I went right back into hideout mode.

But our gracious Lord, in His infinite wisdom has showed me it’s not about me.

It’s about Him.  It always has been … and it always will be.

I’ve said from the beginning {well … the beginning of me being so bold about my faith}, “if even ONE person finds Christ, draws closer to Christ, or can see what a real relationship with Him looks like … then I’ll keep putting myself out there and sharing my heart and story.”

Until I felt rejected.

Until putting myself out there was too painful.

Until a variety of things … all that boiled down to my own selfish pain … caused me to shut down.

Can you imagine our world today if Jesus had decided “it was all too painful” to continue?

And so … as I proclaimed in this post … I wouldn’t want my girls to back down and hide.  Instead, I would want them to share with the world … what the enemy has intended for bad … our Lord will turn for good!

{as a heads up, I may turn comments off on a few posts here and there.  Call that what you will … I call it guarding my heart and mind.} :)

16 Comments

  1. CheezyK September 12, 2011 at 1:06 am

    “Forgetting the past and straining toward what is ahead …”
    So hard to do but so important too. Glad to see you back and look forward to reading more of your deep and wonderful thoughts.

    Reply
  2. Stephanie September 12, 2011 at 1:34 am

    It always brings a smile to my face when I see a new post from you on my Reader. I hope you will be posting more often but I know that life happens off the internet that sometimes takes priority. I think you should be more than welcome to turn off comments if you choose. This is your corner of the internet and you should be able to make any decision you want and nobody should judge you and anyone else for that. It truly seems you are a wonderful mother and woman so please don’t let life get you down.

    Reply
  3. Susan Lesperance September 12, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Tracie, it is nice to see you back. As Stephanie says, “This is your corner of the internet…”, and I am happy to be able to visit it. I always come away from that corner inspired and encouraged to face life’s challenges with grace and the knowledge that God is there…even in our darkest hour. Stay strong and know you are loved by many.

    Reply
  4. dawn September 12, 2011 at 9:34 am

    xoxo… love you, dear friend!

    Reply
  5. Trish September 12, 2011 at 9:42 am

    Praying for you! Please also pray for us, as it seems its dog pile on us too. I’m sure many who read your posts can relate…its as if the heat has been turned up and God is refining us once again, to shine forth as pure unadulterated precious gems that we are!

    Reply
  6. Melanie Cross September 12, 2011 at 11:25 am

    My go to verse when the “dog pile” is getting too burdensome! Psalm 55:22; Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Tracie, your blog is truly a door opening for many, many people in need of God’s words. Thank you!!

    Reply
  7. Karri September 12, 2011 at 11:32 am

    I am sorry that you (or your family) is being dog piled. Hugs.

    Reply
  8. obx888 September 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    God bless you!!!
    & please keep blogging!!

    Reply
  9. katherinemarie September 12, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    I love that verse. I’m going to use it today for my meditation!!! And YOU KNOW how I feel about comments… I think it is perfectly okay to keep them off whenever you need. :):)

    Reply
  10. Liz September 12, 2011 at 11:28 pm

    I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you. I owe you a big old email, but things have been happening…life keeps moving, doesn’t it? Know that I am thinking of you!

    Reply
  11. cat moore September 12, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    love you, tracie! And, was so glad to see/read this post. Wonderful that you wrote it! don’t let the enemy get you by rejectors! We need you! We need you to keep writing and sharing b/c it does help us so. And, I’m certian God is using you to speak to others and they will draw closer to Him. Crazy stuff, but wonderful stuff. ;) xoxo, cat

    Reply
  12. kristin September 13, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Lord, In this time of need, please strengthen Tracie. The Lord is our strength and our shield; He is our refuge and a very present help in our troubles. We know, Father, that You strengthen those whose hearts long for You. Our bodies grow wear, but our Hope is in You to renew our strength. The Lord says, do not fear Tracie, for He is with You. Be not dismayed or overwhelmed for He is our God. We know His faithfulness and thank Him now as he fills you with the Holy Spirit and with peace and comfort. Lord, You will uphold Traci with Your righteous hand. Even as the shadows surround her, you will lift her up on the wings of eagles. . .

    Reply
  13. Carrie G September 13, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    SOOOO glad you are back. Please know that your thoughts and words have brought me closer to Christ! xoxoxox

    Reply
  14. Terry September 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    It breaks my heart to know that others can be so mean and hateful…but that is usually because they are not in touch with Our Lord and are filled with hatred and don’t know what to do with it except spew it on those who are trying to do the best with what is going on at the time. I hope you will post more because at least with your posts I feel your strength and belief when I sometimes have trouble staying focused. I pray someday to have your strength and resolve but not there yet…thanks for leading the way~miss you!

    Reply
  15. Sammie September 15, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Perhaps share with Curt –
    Of all the creatures on earth, only human beings can change their patterns. Man alone is the architect of his destiny. Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

    William James

    Reply
  16. JaymeB September 15, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    Praying for you! I have been feeling the same way about blogging, facebook, and twitter! Sometimes comments, words, and actions of others can have a positive and other times negative effect. The Lord keeps sending me little reminders to keep on pressing towards HIM! Thanks for being one of those many reminders! Keep it up. God is faithful and can do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask!

    Reply

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