forgiving oneself

Forgiveness is always free. But that doesn’t mean that
confession is always easy. Sometimes it is hard.
Incredibly hard. It is painful to admit our sins
and entrust ourselves to God’s care.
~ Erwin Lutzer

Why is it we have such a hard time forgiving ourselves? There are many feelings we could be burying deep in our hearts keeping us from living in freedom—anger, shame, guilt, blame—just to name a few, not allowing us full healing and forgiveness.

Or quite possibly, the situation might be that we’ve done something requiring forgiveness from someone else, but that person is withholding it from us.

If that’s the case, I urge you to remember everything we’ve learned about forgiveness thus far. These facts are equally important to remember when it comes to forgiving ourselves.

  • We’ve been commanded to forgive {and yes, this means ourselves too}
  • Forgiveness gives us freedom
  • Forgiveness allows God to move {in our lives too!}
  • Forgiveness is rooted in grace {giving us something we don’t deserve}

Not forgiving ourselves is just as wrong as not forgiving others. God loves you and desires for you to live free and forgiven as much as He desires it for your neighbor.

There are many, many things I have done in my life against God, against myself, and against others. I could hate myself for some of the destructive things I’ve done. But to live in the past wouldn’t do me, or anyone in my life, any good.

I’ve repented of the things I’ve done, and I know I stand forgiven . . . by the One who matters most.

But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins,
because we can trust God to do what is right.
He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done.
1 John 1:9 {NCV}


I’ve been in situations where forgiveness has been withheld from me. And I’ve come to understand it’s their choice. But just because they choose to live in a prison of unforgiveness doesn’t mean I have to sit in there with them. <– tweet this

Another perspective comes from R.T. Kendall in his book, Total Forgiveness, “Forgiving yourself may bring about the breakthrough you have been looking for. It could set you free in ways you have never experienced before.”

The things we’ve been through, be them shameful or destructive, could very well be things God wants to use in our lives to help others. And if we’re standing in the way of our forgiveness, healing, and freedom, how can God do His work in our lives?

Wouldn’t we rather have God bring glory to those undesirable seasons in our lives?

And friends—we’ll touch on this further tomorrow, but ultimately, if God forgives us, how can we not forgive ourselves?

He’s the final judge and it’s under His standards we should live. So if His Word promises we can live forgiven, why wouldn’t we?

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{read 31 days of forgiveness from the beginning}

4 Comments

  1. dawn October 24, 2012 at 11:30 am

    aha! so next time i want to beat myself up over something, i am hope-hope-hoping that this very post will come to mind. xoxo

    Reply
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