23 May
to walk or stay :: book club – week 6
I’ve already mentioned how Lara’s book, To Walk or Stay has had a huge impact on me {like everyone should read it!}, and today I’m honored to host this week’s book club discussion!
I started writing out a post for today, when I felt God lay it on my heart to speak directly to you through video. It’s a longie … but I pray you’ll take time to hear my heart.
And after you watch the video, I’d love to further our discussion in the comments! Discussion questions listed below.
{if you’re reading in an RSS feed, click here to view video}
“Leaving would mean I miss a blessing.”
Tell us in the comments, how do these thoughts on divorce challenge and/or encourage you?
As I mentioned in the video, I’m choosing to be obedient to God’s calling for me in my marriage. What choices can you personally make to reflect God’s design in your own marriage?
It’s all about love! Marriage — even in the most difficult seasons — is about choosing to love. I am a walking testimony to God’s love overflowing through me, allowing me to love someone who hurt me. Which aspect of love reveals your place of greatest challenge, and why?
If you haven’t read To Walk or Stay and this post has peaked your curiosity … hop over and grab a copy now!
Weekly discussion hosts!
April 18 – Chapter 1 :: Lara Williams at “To Overflowing”
April 25 – Chapter 2 :: Crystal Stine
May 2 – Chapter 3 :: Katie Orr at “Hello Mornings”
May 9 – Chapter 4 :: Kayse Pratt
May 16 – Chapter 5 :: Michele-Lyn Ault at “A Life Surrendered”
May 23 – Chapter 6 :: Tracie Stier-Johnson
May 30 – Chapter 7 :: Francie Winslow at “Up, In, and Out”
June 6 – Chapter 8 :: Joyce Moy
June 13 – Chapter 9 :: Erika Dawson
June 20 – Chapter 10 :: Stacey Thacker at “29 Lincoln Avenue”
Posted in marriage, resources, series
9 May
to walk or stay :: book club – week 4
Do you think I’m pretty?
Whoa! This week’s chapter hits deep! I think if we’re honest, most of us would admit we come into marriage with insecurities. And we look to our spouse’s to fill our insecurity need.
We need — want — to be reassured and told we’re pretty, beautiful, special, valued, and there’s no other he could possibly desire.
Sadly, it doesn’t always work that way.
Our husbands don’t — can’t — fill our insecurity need. And sometimes — it hurts to write this — we find out we’re not the only one he desires.
Ahhh … but our Gracious Lord. He’s made it clear to us we shouldn’t be looking to another human to find our worth. Our worth, our identity is in Christ … in Him alone.
In chapter four, Do You Think I’m Pretty?, Lara gently guides us through the truths of God’s Word and His desire for us … “He designed you to reflect Him, to know Him, to be consumed with Him — to glorify Him. And when we do, we are beauty.”
True beauty arises from a quiet spirit that finds rest in the character and promises of God. Page 56
This week Kayse shares her thoughts on this chapter and is hosting the study on her blog. I hope you’ll join in … I have no doubt you’ll be blessed!
And if you haven’t read or purchased To Walk or Stay, you can find it right here. Annndddd … if you have read it, maybe you’ll consider gifting it to a friend?
Weekly discussion hosts!
April 18 – Chapter 1 :: Lara Williams at “To Overflowing”
April 25 – Chapter 2 :: Crystal Stine
May 2 – Chapter 3 :: Katie Orr at “Hello Mornings”
May 9 – Chapter 4 :: Kayse Pratt
May 16 – Chapter 5 :: Michele-Lyn Ault at “A Life Surrendered”
May 23 – Chapter 6 :: Tracie Stier-Johnson
May 30 – Chapter 7 :: Francie Winslow at “Up, In, and Out”
June 6 – Chapter 8 :: Joyce Moy
June 13 – Chapter 9 :: Erika Dawson
June 20 – Chapter 10 :: Stacey Thacker at “29 Lincoln Avenue”
Posted in marriage, resources, series
2 May
to walk or stay :: book club – week 3
Today, the lovely Katie Orr is hosting our discussion over on her blog, Hello Mornings.
I’m pretty sure you don’t want to miss out on this:
- There’s a great discussion happening in the comments!
- Lara’s put together another great video!
- And Katie talks about some other crazy-incredible resources!
If you haven’t picked up your copy of To Walk or Stay, you can find it right here.
Weekly discussion hosts!
April 18 – Chapter 1 :: Lara Williams at “To Overflowing”
April 25 – Chapter 2 :: Crystal Stine
May 2 – Chapter 3 :: Katie Orr at “Hello Mornings”
May 9 – Chapter 4 :: Kayse Pratt
May 16 – Chapter 5 :: Michele-Lyn Ault at “A Life Surrendered”
May 23 – Chapter 6 :: Tracie Stier-Johnson
May 30 – Chapter 7 :: Francie Winslow at “Up, In, and Out”
June 6 – Chapter 8 :: Joyce Moy
June 13 – Chapter 9 :: Erika Dawson
June 20 – Chapter 10 :: Stacey Thacker at “29 Lincoln Avenue”
Posted in marriage, resources, series
20 Mar
to walk or stay :: a book review {and giveaway}
Sooooo … a friend of mine wrote a book. A very good, very important, everyone must read it kind-of-book!
Lara’s words have always inspired me, both to be a better writer and to be a better Christ-follower. She’s real. Authentic. And knows her the Word of God like no other.
God’s given her a story to share — a heart story — one that comes from the depths of her personal valley and despair.
Although the basis of Lara’s story is the infidelity of her husband and how, with God’s help, she stayed, To Walk or Stay is a faith-filled story in “trusting God through shattered hopes and suffocating fears.”
I knew from reading Lara’s blog, she’d walked through a season of infidelity and betrayal by her husband. And when she released a book titled To Walk or Stay, I assumed she’d be disclosing some details of that season of her life.
Details? Countless.
Countless details on the goodness, faithfulness, and beauty of our Lord God when we listen to Him, press into Him, lean on Him, and trust Him with our everything.
As I was reading through the pages, I couldn’t help but think, “Every married woman I know should read this book!”
And then I thought, “Anyone walking through a valley-low should read this book!”
And then, “Anyone afraid to completely trust in God should read this book!”
And now? Just read it!
I’ve highlighted and marked up just about every page. And I plan to read it again … it’s that good. And necessary!
Let me share just a few of the life-changing words I’ve read:
You and I don’t have the power to pierce hearts and transform lives. It’s not our calling. But we can submit to God’s “change” within us. Introduction
***
I chose to stay in our marriage in spite of how I felt. Page 18
***
When I processed the pain with the Lover of my soul, I experienced a joy that this world couldn’t steal. Through the valley of brokenness I learned that true blessing rises as I bind to my God regardless of circumstance. Page 21
***
God spoke a promise of restoration, but I still battled strong emotions. Page 25
***
He allows every single valley in the life of His children out of love. Page 31
***
When thoughts of his weaknesses arose, instead of tearing him down, I learned to break away to a quiet place and pray for him. Page 43
***
As I prayed for him, my vision changed. I saw him with God’s eyes rather than my own. Page 43
***
We always have the choice to pray for those who’ve hurt us rather than tear them down. It’s what Jesus did. Page 43
***
Revival in our world begins with revival in our homes. And revival in our homes begins with revival in our individual hearts and minds. Page 46
***
As we meditate on God’s Word rather than our volatile feelings, hope arises. As we choose to ponder the Truth of His character rather than our fleeting circumstance, peace falls. He gives us this one life, these few days. May we not waste them with futile thinking! AMEN! Page 47 {exclamation marks and AMEN are mine}
***
In spite of feelings, and regardless of what may seem like a hopeless situation, the Lord may challenge you to stay committed in your heart, regardless of the unlove of your spouse. He may dare you to stay because He may want to do something wildly miraculous in your home. Page 86 {I’d be remiss if I didn’t add another AMEN! here}
I believe To Walk or Stay will change marriages, lives, hearts, and relationships with our Creator. And I believe in it so strongly, I’m giving away two copies {details to follow}.
Friends, as Lara said … God give us these valleys out of love. And when we trust Him with our brokenness, He meets us in a way we never imagined. It’s then, that God can use our brokenness — our stories — for His glory. God will use Lara’s story in the lives of many, which ultimately points back to Him and brings Him glory.
I’m overwhelmed at the beauty found in His promises.
But wait there’s more!!
I’m excited to also announce details about an upcoming To Walk or Stay Book Club!
Lara did an amazing job including small group discussion points after each chapter, and also includes a “Digging Deeper” section.
The questions and talking points definitely cause one to dig deep. Some of them are even ouchie-deep, but much needed!
The Book Club discussion starts April 18, and will take place on a different blog each week. On May 23, you’ll find the discussion on Chapter 6 right here!
I hope you’ll join us … this study and book are going to bless many!
Giveaway details:
{what}
Two winners will receive one copy of To Walk or Stay!
{how}
~ leave a comment {any ol’ comment. winners picked via random.org}
~ tweet the giveaway {but come back & leave a comment}
~ facebook the giveaway {but come back & leave a comment}
~ blog the giveaway {but come back and leave a comment}
{when}
Now through Friday, March 22 – midnight {EST}
Posted in giveaway, marriage, resources
9 Aug
love is not a fight {repost}
Marriage. I know many people struggling in their marriages right now. Marriage is hard, hard work. Hard. I received a lot of feedback from this post and even continue to. That whole “hand on the doorknob” thing speaks volumes to many people. If you’re struggling in your marriage today, I pray this post encourages you to step away from the door … and full into your marriage.
{original post 3.8.10}
I posted a couple weeks back about the Love Dare book and how it’s been an incredible source of martial strength for me.
I’ve gotten some comments and emails about others who have the book, but it’s collecting dust. For about a year, mine did too. But when I picked it up again and decided I was determined to do it, be open to the words, be open to looking within, and most importantly … let the Lord convict me … my marriage has been blessed beyond measure!
I’d like to dive in a little deeper and share some of the things I’ve learned … so grab some coffee! ;)
Most important … this book has taught me about unconditional love. Unconditional. No conditions. No matter what … you love.
The first “dare” is about patience. “When you choose to be patient,
you respond in a positive way to a negative situation.”
The second, kindness. “If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative
circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance.
Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing.”
“Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likable.”
Third, unselfishness. “If there were ever a word that basically means the
opposite of love, it is selfishness.” “The bottom line is that you either
make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.”
And so it goes …
You know the statement, “be the change you want to see” ? … never more true than in a marriage.
CJ and I have been through stuff. Icky stuff. Hard stuff. Challenging stuff. And I’m not talking about him throwing a wet towel on the outfit I’ve just picked out to wear for the day {oh yes he does!}, nor am I talking about leaving a fresh box of cereal out on the counter wide open and left to get stale {oh yes I do!}. I’m talking about stuff that divorces are made of. Deal-breakers if you will.
Only thing? I’ve learned there are no deal-breakers in a godly marriage.
Various times in our marriage … almost from the beginning, we had some deal-breaker things to work through. But it was maybe 3 years ago … something happened to rock my world {in a bad way}. I questioned, “How much is too much?” “When is it okay to say I’d had enough?” “How much more am I supposed to forgive and endure?”
My dear friend Lori, in all her wisdom, told me God wanted me in it for the long haul. It boils down to forgiveness, or love if you will … and you can read Matthew 18:21-22 for that. Basically for as long as it takes or how ever many times it takes.
After that conversation, I’d realized I had my “hand on the doorknob” so to speak. And as much as we can all deny that. I think in today’s culture, it’s the norm. “I’m not happy, so I’m leaving … I’m moving on … I deserve happiness.” I’m the first to admit that was my mindset in my first marriage.
But once I took my hand off that doorknob and realized that I am 100% committed … I fought. And I’m still fighting. And it’s not easy. But I’m committed. I’m not leaving. The song I’ve posted below speaks to this …
And because of this book {and God’s blessings!}, I can honestly say {at this moment-in-time}, my marriage has never been stronger than it has the last few weeks. And believe me! if you knew {and I’ll tell all one day} what we’ve endured, you’d be shaking your head in disbelief right now.
CJ’s noticed a change in me. In fact, he recently told our counselor that he’s feeling guilty because he feels he’s being left behind in the “happiness” category and is trying to catch up.
Little sidebar: when we met, I was “happy Tracie” … but happy Tracie has fallen apart of the years and it’s been a complaint of his for a long time now. He wants “happy Tracie” back. Crazy! But it’s his wish. Anyway … she’s back!! At this moment-in-time … she’s honestly, truly, and purely back.
Okay … so here are some things that I’ve learned in reading this book:
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not selfish
Love is thoughtful
Love is not rude
Love is not irritable {can I get an amen!?}
Love believes the best
Love is not jealous
Love makes good impressions
Love is unconditional
Love cherishes
Love lets the other win
Love fights fair
Love takes delight
Love is honorable
Love intercedes
Love promotes intimacy
Love seeks to understand
Love is impossible {without God}
Love is Jesus Christ
Love is satisfied in God
Love is faithful
Love always protects
Love vs. lust
Love forgives
Love is responsible
Love encourages
Love makes sacrifices
Love’s motivation
Love brings unity
Love meets sexual needs
Love completes each other
Love celebrates godliness
Love is accountable
Love is God’s Word
Love agrees in prayer
Love fulfills dreams
Love endures
Love is a covenant
I came across this song recently and found it so encouraging! So true! So in line with what I’m learning and living! I pray you’ll take the time to listen, to read the lyrics, and let the Lord speak to you and your marriage through it.
For those of you that have the book … blow off the dust and open it up. For those of you that are curious … head over to amazon and pick it up! Come on … I dare you! ;)
One last thought from the book, “Learning to truly love is one of the most important things you will ever do.”
Love Is Not A Fight {Warren Barfield}
Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It’s a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We’ll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees
{Chorus}
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it’s something worth fighting for
To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they’re falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do
{Chorus}
Love will come to save us
If we’ll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all
{Chorus}
I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It’s worth fighting for
Posted in inspiration, marriage, music
