mighty to save …

My church does large musical productions during holiday times … Easter, Christmas.  This past Easter, 2009, our musical was called “Mighty To Save” and my friend Lori gave her testimony during it.

At Lori’s funeral services this past Thursday, part of Lori’s testimony was played.  It was powerful.  Powerful to the extent of who Lori is.  And I wanted to share.

I can’t seem to get Lori off my mind … I suppose that’s they way it goes though, huh?  I passed “our” starbucks today … while Chris Rice’s song “I Will Rise” was playing on the radio.  Tears.

For a variety of reasons, I feel like I can’t reengage myself.  Ever see Top Gun 100 times?  You know where he talks about reengaging after Goose’s death?  Somehow I feel like that.  Odd … but it’s all I can attribute it to.

I think for some closure, I’d like to share what I said at Lori’s service {insert your own tears}:


When I sat down to get my thoughts together about what I wanted to say tonight, I wasn’t sure where to begin.  So what did I rely on?  Technology, of course!

I have an application on my phone called Bible Shaker.  It has a variety of topics to pick from {children, faith, fear, forgiveness, guilt}.  Once you pick your topic, you shake the phone and a verse is given.

I was hoping for some wisdom, or maybe a verse to pray over to help me get started.  The topic I picked was comfort … and when I shook my phone and got my verse … I stared in awe at the verse God gave me … John 14:1

“Let not your heart be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me.  In my Father’s house are many rooms … “

Can I just tell you … for me … heaven has never seemed as real as it does today.  Yet one more thing in this life that Lori is showing me.

I’ve known Lori since I was 7 or 8 years old.  We grew up in Missionettes together … our families were friends and we became good friends … great friends.

I was a child of the 70’s and collected every possible rainbow treasure known to man.  Bed sheets, stationery, clothes, stickers … you name it … I had it.  So imagine my delight when I learned my new buddy lived on RAINBOW drive!  I thought she was the cat’s meow!  And a sleepover on rainbow drive was nothing short of pure delight!

One thing that Lori taught me was not to run away from a problem or situation … well … except for this one time … our family was visiting the West house … on rainbow drive, in Greendale.  Lori, Scottie, my sister and I decided we were going for a walk … a long walk.  Maybe even a running away walk?  We were going to go all the way to Franklin!

For kicks, I google mapped it and it wasn’t even three quarters of a mile that we walked.  But when you’re 9 or 10 … we’d just conquered the great divide!  Well, and figure the walk back … it was a whole mile & a half total.  I remember vividly the fun and pride we had taking that walk all by ourselves … and I’m pretty sure half the fun was doing it without permission?

On a personal note, I’d like to share … a couple of years ago, I was dealing with some very personal hardships.  I didn’t know where to turn and needed some answers.  God sent me Lori’s name.  I called … left a sweet message wondering how she was doing and to call when she had a chance.  I hung up and started sobbing.  I called back and told her the truth … I really needed someone to talk to.

She called right back and didn’t hesitate, “come over now,” she said.  I did.  She was so instrumental to me that morning and helped me through one of the most difficult times in my life.

I believe Lori is instrumental to the Christian woman I am today.  When I turned my back from church, from God … Lori was praying.  She was praying for my return.  I never knew that … all those years ago that God laid me … on her heart.

Thank you God for friends.

What else has Lori taught me?  Perseverance.  Grace, in times of trouble.

In July, I was diagnosed with MS … but have been having health problems since the beginning of the year.

After watching Lori over the last few years … in complete awe of the grace she showed to all of us … I’m determined to be the same beacon of inspiration and grace to others that watch me today.

In one of my last conversations with Lori, I thanked her for praying me for all those years.  I told her what an inspiration she’s been to me and in the big picture of things … if there’s a reason for all of this, that I have learned from her how to handle adversity … through faith, prayer, trust in the Lord … and that because of her, I’m trying to show others the same.

I vow to do my best to carry that legacy of hers on to others …

There were a few times she would talk about a mentor of hers.  I was intrigued by that and I told her I would love to have her as my mentor.  In her loving, sweet, soft way … she wasn’t so sure about that.

But whether or not she verbally agreed to be my mentor that day … I promise you she’s mentoring me.  From that very day … and through eternity.  I have no doubt.

She’s all around me … in every song, wisdom imparted, specific prayers I have that remind me of her …

And for sure … in every rainbow I’ll ever see.

4 Comments

  1. Heidi Fannin September 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    She is inspiring. thank you for posting that. My heart is still saddened by this.
    Let me take you out to coffee– what days works best?

    Reply
  2. Terry September 22, 2009 at 8:06 am

    I am still in awe of what strength and poise Lori had the only time I met her…but following her through the caringbridge website it was so obvious that these were qualities that defined who she was and why I was so touched by her spirit. I want to thank you for introducing her to me and know that you have touched me and others in the same way. I am so very grateful for your friendship and commitment to help guide me as well.

    Reply
  3. Heather September 22, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Your words were a beautiful tribute to a dear friend. I know she is smiling & thrilled at how you are touching all of us with your love for her…just as she touched you with her strength and grace. She will always be with you…watching over you…caring for you.

    As for reengaging…baby steps. Take time to yourself to mourn, to regroup, to heal…reconnect with your family…just do whatever feels right to you. Everyone who loves you (which is a ton of us by the way) are here…always… You are the bravest woman I know, but remember you don’t always have to be brave…leaning a little is good too!

    Love you! H

    Reply
  4. Pingback: more thoughts on loss …

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