dear weary mom

Dear Weary Mom,

I don’t remember exactly how it happened, all I remember is how quickly it happened. That, and the sheer panic, terror, and fear that followed.

SMASH!

I’d slammed on my gas pedal instead of the brake. Right into the back of my daughter’s car.

Shaking, I jumped out of my car and ran over to her. She was sobbing asking why I did it. On the verge of sobs myself, I yelled told her I didn’t do it on purpose!

We pulled over to look at the damage and get a grasp on what just happened. We held each other and cried. She asked why she just couldn’t get a break? I countered with, “Why can’t our family just get a break?” Life seems to be throwing us one train-wreck after another.

Soul-crushing wreck, after soul-crushing wreck.

Can anyone relate? Do any of you wonder when you’ll just catch a break?

I am plumb worn out. Physically. Emotionally. I feel like I’ve had all I can take, and I don’t want anymore.

I’m even walking the dangerous line of thinking, “I deserve to have a break!”

And then guilt sets in.

I should be praying more. I should be better at giving it to God — you know, “Let Go and Let God?”

I know what I should be doing. But it’s the doing that has me stuck.

I love God with all my heart and I know I wouldn’t be standing without Him as my guide and strength. I believe this with every fiber my being. I know God loves me. I know my friends and family love me. My faith is unshakeable. It truly is.

Yet, there are times lately I just can’t seem to get out from underneath the weary and hopeless state I find myself in.

If you’ve ever felt this kind of hopelessness, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

“I’m tired. I’m worn. My heart is heavy. From the work it takes to keep on breathing. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. I know I need to lift my eyes up.

But I’m too weak.

And life just won’t let up.”

I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen Tenth Avenue North following me around over the last few months! How then, I wonder, did they write a song just for me … and countless others who are struggling right now?

Friends, on this link, Mike shares some beautiful thoughts. If you have the time to watch, I’d really encourage you to do so.

I absolutely and completely agree with Mike, “it’s rarely the easy and comfortable times that God’s doing something good.”

He changes us in the mess of life. “Our God is a God who brings beauty out of pain.”

{if you’re reading from an RSS feed, click here to view video}

Worn
:: Tenth Avenue North ::

I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

{chorus}
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I’m worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

{chorus}

My prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn
Even before the day begins
I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes

{chorus}

Yes, all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though, I’m worn
I’m worn

And so.

Dear Weary Mom,

Won’t you join me in clinging to the God of all hope? The God who restores. The God who refreshes our weary souls and tired momma feet?

Oh how He loves us my weary friend! He hurts when we hurt. He prays for us:

But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32 {NIV}

He knows we’ll be sifted — He knows when we’re being sifted. And He’s praying for us. That our faith may not fail. That we don’t lose hope.

And catch this, the verse says WHEN you have turned back … It doesn’t say IF you turn back.

In all of our weariness, God has not left us. He’s right beside us, hurting with us. And loving us.

He knows there are times we’ll be weak. And He’s promised to be our strength in those weary times.

One thing I know for sure? God doesn’t break His promises.

So as I tuck my weary bones into bed tonight, I will thank Him once again for getting me through the day. Sometimes, that’s all I can muster, just get through the day. My hope? It lies in His promise that I will rise, I will conquer, and I will turn back to strengthen my weary mommy friends.

From one tired momma to another … but always with hope,

Tracie

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I mentioned yesterday, and I’ll mention again today — Hope for the Weary Mom has a new blog and lots of encouragement, hope, and love in store for you! You’re not alone weary mom. We’re all in this together! Click over and be filled!

Posted in faith, music, parenting, weary mom

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“i prayed!”

You might remember the other day I mentioned Grace? Wynter’s potential new pony? And how we weren’t sure? And she was having a ride that afternoon which would give us a better indication if it was a good fit for her?

Well … it didn’t go well. At all.

Wynter seemed completely confused in her riding, which made Grace even more confused. And frankly, they looked like a hot mess of skills colliding in the arena.

I took lots of video, both of Wynter riding and of her trainer “training.”

I talked to Wynt on the ride home and gently suggested she should take time to study the video, listen to her trainer, and see what she could do differently the next day … her last ride with Grace — the decision making ride — is this the pony for her, or would we have to keep looking?

She seemed intent on what I was saying and determined to have a good ride the next day. Welllll … when we got home, she went to her room to change and seemed to come out as quickly as she went in. I asked if she studied the video and she told me, “not really.”

I was disappointed.

If this pony meant as much to her as she told me, why didn’t she care enough to put a little effort into having a better ride?

The next day, I picked her up from school and as we headed to her lesson, I gently prepared her for the fact that Grace may not be the pony for her and it may not work out. And if it didn’t, I fully trusted there was an even better pony out there for her.

She agreed.

I was so nervous as I watched her begin her lesson. Pretty much sitting on the edge of my seat.

And then.

Something happened.

She looked like a completely different rider from just the day before. I was shocked. Seriously shocked.

And then this …

Her first time jumping!! She’s been wanting to learn to jump so badly over the last month, but the time just hadn’t come yet. She still had things to learn to prepare for this next step.

I heard her trainer futzing with the standard cups {the things that hold the pole you jump over}, and I thought, “no … that can’t be for Wynt.”

Sure enough. She put the poles up and had Wynter pop over them. She even raised them once!

When her lesson was over, her horse put away, and we were walking to the car, I asked her what made such a huge difference in her riding from the day before?

She answered so matter-of-factually, “I prayed!”

She went on to explain, the day before when she went to her room to change {when *I* thought she should be studying her video}, she spent 20 minutes praying asking God to help her in her riding.

Sigh. It’s moments like these my children teach me a thing or two about faith.

Is there a time your child “out-faithed” you?

Posted in faith, parenting, prayers, riding, wynter

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one door closes, another opens …

“Faith never knows where it is being led,
but it loves and knows the One Who is leading.”
~ Oswald Chambers

I know I shouldn’t be … but sometimes I can’t help but be in total awe of the way God works in my life!

There was something in our lives the girls and I were looking so forward to. I can’t share all the details at this point … but trust me when I say this “something” filled us with joy and filled a void we’d been feeling for while now.

We’d made some changes in our lives over the last few months relying on this “something” to come to fruition. Our whole everything was wrapped up and counting on it.

And then God decided to shut the door on our “something.”

We were devastated. Truly.

I heard God telling me He had something better in store for us, but in my despair and selfishness, I pushed His promises aside. In fact, I selfishly argued that we’d been through enough and deserved something positive to happen in our lives.

Arrogance much?

Fortunately, I’ve learned not to drag out my arguments with God and within a day had dried my tears, turned my heart around, and decided to trust Him. After all, trusting Him is a choice we’ve been given.

Faith is a choice.

I don’t always know what His plans are, but I can choose to always trust.

And wouldn’t you know? The very next day — the day after I stopped pouting and started trusting, just two days after our devastating news — God opened the door to a much better “something” for us. Something we’d never of seen or been aware of had He not closed that first door.

Once the girls and I were absolutely settled on knowing this second “door” was the best option for us …

Wouldn’t you know? That first door opened up again.

Even though that original door has opened to us, we know in our hearts the second option is better and what’s best for us. And we never would’ve seen it had God not redirected our paths.

Some may say it’s “coincidence.” And sure, it all could be, I’ll give you that. But I prefer to believe God is leading and directing my coincidences in this life.

Have you ever had a door shut only to realize God had something much better in store?

Posted in faith, life

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lessons from a bounce house

Wynter’s birthday was this past weekend and to help her get “jiggy wit it,” we brought in a 40 foot obstacle-course-bouncy-thingy. Needless to say, the party-goers had a blast!

Until the injuries started.

The girls weren’t following the natural flow of the obstacle course. They’d sit on top of the slide. They’d attempt to climb up the slide. And run through the course from finish to start … which is why you can’t see any of the 15 party-goers at the starting point … they’re all climbing through backwards.

When I realized what was happening, I stepped in and told them they needed to follow the course the way it’s intended or injuries would continue to occur. And sure enough, wouldn’t you know? As someone was coming down the slide, the final step of the course … another girl standing at the exit decided to jump in, got hurt, and came out a bundle of tears!

As the party ended and we were cleaning up, it struck me again and again that rules are set for our protection.

How many times do I try to bypass the “entrance” and take a short cut through the exit … only to end up disappointed, injured, and in a bundle of tears?

God’s given us a rule book and guide to follow. And He gave it to us for a reason. For our own good.

This is an extreme example, but think about it … if those ten commandments hadn’t come down, and we had no moral compass … would we know it isn’t okay to kill people? To steal? To have sexual relations with whomever we pleased? Can you imagine that world?

God tells me to never stop praying. He tells me to put no idol’s before Him {that would be anything that takes my time and attention away from Him}. He tells me to love my neighbor as I love myself. He tells me not to worry or be anxious. He tells me to trust Him with the plans He has for my life.

Yet how many times do I try to skip the course He’s laid out for me and go through life jumping head-first into the exit?

Not cool Tracie, not cool.

Sometimes it takes that knock on the head and puddle of tears for me to remember I need to follow the course the way He’s intended or injuries will continue to occur.

Posted in faith, inspiration

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rules without relationship = rebellion {post 2}

When I first heard these four words:

rules without relationship = rebellion

I immediately related them to parenting. And then as the phrase simmered in my mind, I thought how it also relates to our relationship with God.

There’ve been many scholarly words and sermons preached on the differences between religion vs. relationship. Christianity vs. religion. Jews vs. Gentiles. Pharisees vs. Jesus. And on it goes …

Today, I’m just going to share my simple thoughts. I suppose though, they’re not just thoughts … they’re my experiences. It’s what I know to be true.

I’m about to make a bold statement here, but open your hearts and hear me out? I don’t believe we can call ourselves Christians and not have a relationship with Jesus. Christianity isn’t a religion. Sure it’s a piece of it. But it’s by no means the kit n’ kaboodle!

Christian – to be a Christ follower
Follow – go in the same direction as or parallel to
Christianity – Christian quality or character
Character – who you are when no one’s looking
Religion – a system of faith
Relationship – the way people are connected, or the state of being connected

Are we following Christ? Are we pursuing an intimate relationship with Him? A relationship so strong that we ooze His qualities and character?

If we try to live by all the rules laid out for us in religion, without knowing why or understanding the heart behind it … that’s where good ol’ fashion rebellion comes in.

rules without relationship = rebellion

I recently saw the Katy Perry movie with my girls. Did you know she was brought up in an evangelical Christian home? And even tried her hand in the Christian music industry. I can’t help but think she ended up feeling trapped by the rules of religion. It seems she never grasped an intimate relationship with Jesus for herself.

How might I think so? I’ve lived it. I know it. I grew up knowing all the rules of religion … but I missed the most important part … the relationship. Granted, I was a teenager and then a young adult. And let’s face it being a Christian can be hard when it seems like the “world” is having fun around you. In hindsight, I think it was hard because I didn’t understand what it meant to have a relationship with Christ. I didn’t know why I needed a relationship with Christ. Other than saving myself from the depths of hell.

“It is a joy to Jesus when a person takes time to walk more intimately with Him. The bearing of fruit is always shown in Scripture to be a visible result of an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.” – Oswald Chambers

Friends, we’ve been created to have intimate relationship with Christ. He doesn’t want us to live only by rules. He wants to deposit into our “banks” on a regular basis, so when the course of life tips our balance sheet the other way … our banks will remain well above positive. So we’ll have no doubt of His great love for us.

There are numerous stories in the Bible of Jesus facing the Pharisees and going against the “rules.” Why? Because Jesus was acting out of love and relationship. Not rules or religion. One of my favorite stories is found in John 8:2-11 {hover over the link and the scripture will pop up}. Ahhh … what beautiful love!!

He came so that we might have life. Life more abundantly. Not rules. Not religion. Not rebellion.

Will you join me in claiming that today?

And please join me tomorrow over on the MODsquad blog where I’ll be sharing a great parenting resource and doing a lil’ thing called a … giveaway!

rules without relationship {post one}

Posted in faith, inspiration, jesus, quote, series

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