how do we forgive?

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because
God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
~ C.S. Lewis

We left off yesterday asking which we’d choose … unforgiveness and living bound, or forgiveness and living free? Since you’re back here with me today, I’m guessing you’ve chosen to live free. I know I have!

So now to answer the biggie … how in the world do we forgive!? We’ve been betrayed, lied to, stolen from, wronged, talked about, abused, abandoned, and the list {sadly} goes on.

Extending true forgiveness is probably one of the hardest things we’re called to do in this life. And there certainly isn’t a magic formula to get there. But what I intend to do over the next month is share many different perspectives, references, scriptures, thoughts, and my own experiences to help you begin the admittedly difficult process of forgiveness.

As I mentioned, forgiveness is an act of grace. The very definition of grace is giving to someone what isn’t deserved. That’s an incredibly hard concept to wrap our heads around, especially when we’re victims of the afore mentioned “crimes.”

Do I have your heart on the “why” we need to forgive? And what forgiveness is not? Before we proceed with this, let’s take a little check of our spirits to be sure our hearts are wide open to receiving this message {and the messages in the days that follow}.

As Gandhi so wisely said, “We need to be the change we want to see.” How many of us want the other person to apologize first? Hand raised.

But we need to be the change. Forgiveness needs to start with us. <– tweet this

We also need to understand that forgiveness doesn’t just start with us … it’s possible it may end with us too. We may never see change on the other side of forgiveness {from the other person}. But remember, forgiveness is for us, not the other person.

That said; let’s take a look at Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. The story is found in all the Gospels, but unless noted, I’m using text from Matthew 26:36-46.

Knowing what the next day would hold for Him, Jesus said to His disciples, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” Verse 39 says, “Going a little further, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’”

Let me put this bluntly. The very next day, Jesus would die a horrific and painful death. Why? For our sins. So we could be forgiven.

And guess what friends? He didn’t wanna do it! Simply put, He didn’t feel like it. Never before had He asked His Father to take something from Him, but this time … He didn’t wanna do it.

I’m humbled when I think of the sacrifice. Luke 22:44 tells us, “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

Oh how I urge you to take a few minutes and reflect on what was done for us! Starting that night in the garden, the betrayals, the mocking, the beatings – hanging broken on a Cross.

All for our forgiveness.

Sure we might say, “But you don’t know what was done to me.” And I get that. I’ve been there. There’ve been countless times I just don’t wanna forgive.

But I’d argue this, any “crime” committed against me is nothing compared to an innocent Man taking on my sins, for my freedom and my forgiveness on a Cross. Nothing.

Can I pose a challenge? What if, the next time we’re struggling to forgive, we visualize Jesus, broken, bloody, and beaten, hanging on the Cross so that our sins {however big, or however little in our minds} might be forgiven?

I wonder, knowing what’s been done for us, how can we not extend forgiveness to others?

“ … be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32 {NLT}

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{read 31 days of forgiveness from the beginning}

22 Comments

  1. km October 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    man this is POWERFUL stuff!!! POWERFUL beyond words!!!! That CS Lewis quote is one of my all time favorites… I want to hang THAT way of life around my heart always!!! Knowing what I have done and how easily God forgave me… how could I not at least TRY to extend that kind of grace, love and forgiveness to ALL!!! THANKS for your words!!!! THANKS for your WISDOM!! THANKS for your ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!

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  3. dawn October 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    i was already in tears and then you asked me to picure Jesus… when i visualize it i always see the scenes from the passion {movie} and it breaks me. cuz i am just no good, no worth that pain. and yet… He loves me that much.

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