my god-given story

Here’s the thing.  My family is currently facing the most unspeakable of situations.  But what I’ve come to realize is that it’s part of the story God has allowed to me.  And please … I don’t say this lightly, religiously, or tritely … do I want this as part of my story?  Absolutely not.  But do I accept it?  Yes.

I believe that our story will be to God’s glory someday.  But you better believe when I enter those pearly gates and see Him face-to-face, my first question just might be “really God?”  ;)

Some of you know what we’re going through, and some of you don’t.  I won’t be talking about any specifics or sharing details.  But I’m not going to hide.

I’ve had emails and comments from {whom I believe are} caring people asking me to take down my blog, take down photos of my girls, youtube videos, etc. … that I should be protecting them.

And yes … if the thousands {yes, thousands!} of new hits to this blog are any indication … there definitely are people out there that will be feeding off of our “misery.”  But you know what? so be it!  Anyone that is an avid reader of my musings knows that I have the love of God living inside of me.  I have never backed down or hidden from my trials.  And what others might view as “misery” … my God turns to victory!

Are there some things I don’t disclose?  Sure!  But my main goal has always been to share the positive side of the trials God has allowed into my life.

The thing most people don’t understand is that God has allowed me to look at my trials through His eyes and with His love … not the world’s.  The world is full of hate and unforgiveness.  Seriously, who has the time and energy to put their focus on things that will tear them down?

Many, many, many of you … readers I didn’t even know I had … or that knew “who” I am, have contacted me with love, support, encouragement and prayers.  I am forever thankful and blessed by you.

You are the ones that I’m writing to …

When you have an active and intimate relationship with your Lord and Savior … He will sustain you.  As I’ve told some, I’m currently a walking Scripture cliche … I am living and breathing Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

I would. not. want to be facing this trial without my Savior.  And it breaks my heart to know there are people struggling through this life without Him.

My prayer through this journey is that if even one of you come to know Him as I know Him … then our trial was not in vain.

And as far as my girls are concerned … those of you that are followers here for the right reasons, know that it’s my utmost desire to instill the love of the Lord in them.  To show them what it looks like to walk in His grace.  In His love.  In His goodness.  To live for the eternal, not the here and now.

And sure, some of you may have your own opinions and judgments … but please know it hasn’t been without much prayer and consideration that I’ve decided to stay true to myself.  Would I ask my girls to back down and hide?  Or would I want them to share with the world … what the enemy has intended for bad … our Lord will turn for good?

I choose the latter …

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58 Comments

  1. keely aka LKP March 30, 2011 at 4:17 am

    huh. when i hopped on here two nights ago, i figured the MS stuff was the worst of what you guys are facing. something tells me its more than that. sorry for being oblivious. hope everything’s ok. ::biggest supportive hugs ever:: luv ya!

    Reply
  2. Heather March 30, 2011 at 6:16 am

    I love you!!!!!!

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  3. Lisa Mahnke March 30, 2011 at 7:22 am

    What I am thinking, and know, with all my heart is that you have the real deal with our Lord and Saviour Tracie. Continue to stay true to yourself, and know that your doing your best in a tough situation. Love you more than ever!

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  4. cat moore March 30, 2011 at 7:35 am

    truly amazing. you are. i love you and i’m praying for your family. you are a brave woman and i know that you heart and intentions are to serve the Lord. i don’t know what’s going on, but i’m a little behind on my blog reading….or, maybe i’m just a ding bat and missed something….but i have a feeling you’re not talking about your life with MS. if there is anything i can do, please tell me! i know i’m far away, but i can hop on a plane in a second (by the way, can I borrow $300?….you didn’t think i wasn’t gonna make you laugh in this comment somewhere, did you?!) love you, friend! praying for God’s will to be done.

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  5. Shanna Watson March 30, 2011 at 7:54 am

    Keep on keeping on GIRL!! I love reading your blog everyday and I LOVE your LOVE for the LORD!

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  6. Michelle March 30, 2011 at 7:57 am

    You are in my prayers! I hope you don’t take the blog down. You are truely an inspiration to me and MANY others! I think your blog is more powerful than you realize in a good way. You truely live for God and have a heart for him and it is very evident in your posts. There has been many times when you have uplifted me when I needed it just by reading this blog. God loves you and your family Ms. Tracie and the enemy has no place in your life or any authority over your family! You have been claimed by a BIGGER name and it is Jesus!!!

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  7. Amy March 30, 2011 at 8:08 am

    You are an amazing woman Tracie. Love and prayers to you today!

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  8. Nellie March 30, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Beautifully said, my friend. I SO admire how you face your challenges HEAD ON! Keep your VOICE! Don’t let Satan “whew” {blowing sound?!} it out! ;)

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  9. Leslie March 30, 2011 at 8:15 am

    As I read your post early this morning, as my own family still slept, I had to resist the urge to shout out a loud “YES!”. :-) I agree 100% with what Lisa said, above me. Your faith is, without a doubt, the real deal. Your strength, grace and faith are beautiful examples for the rest of us who struggle with things far smaller than what you’re going through! Love you!!

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  10. Terry March 30, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Amen…and that is why i love you so….your honesty and commitment to the Lord…now would be the time most would say how could you…and turn away but you stand behind what you say and what you believe…and someday when this is all behind you…your girls will be able to read your blog and know that you say what you mean and mean what you say…I say this I am so proud to be your friend! Now and forever…

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  11. andrea March 30, 2011 at 8:46 am

    You always encourage me with your words and strength. I love to see that your are not discouraged despite what the world throws at you. It is obvious that you have your focus on Jesus and are encouraging many. I completely admire you and love seeing you stand firm. Many prayers for you and your family!! Thank you for sharing with us even when it isn’t easy. You encourage me to do what’s hard when it is for the Lord.

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  12. Trish March 30, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Tracie you are a true inspiration to me! Even though we have never met in person, go to the same church, etc. we are sisters in Christ! I will be praying for you and your family as you weather this storm. I am blessed to call you a sister and look forward to spending eternity getting to know you, when that day comes! Thanks also for sharing that verse from Philippians…I especially needed that today…as I am weathering a pretty nasty storm with my husband (health issue) at the moment too. But God is faithful, God is true and God will provide and get us through! Be comforted that you are surrounded by so many that care and are praying for you!! :)

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  13. Lauren | Lauren Nicole Photography March 30, 2011 at 9:11 am

    Thoughts & prayers for you. You are an inspiration for me as I face my own trials… I don’t know your details and that isn’t important. But all this time when I’ve been struggling so deeply with my faith and my family……… feeling so alone and absolutely abandoned & rejected…. I can look here and see that God doesn’t abandon us when we are being tried and attacked. Praying for peace and wisdom for you and your family and a special protection on the hearts of your sweet daughters. Thank you for being a beacon in the dark. {love and hugs}

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  14. Lisa March 30, 2011 at 9:16 am

    I just want to say “Thank you” Tracie for showing that among the world of evil and darkness, “God’s Goodness will prevail!” I have no doubt that you and your girls will rise above this and they will all grow up to be strong women just like you are! I’m glad you’re continuing your blog because it’s become a part of my everyday inspiration and I would you miss you so much! Love and prayers!

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  15. Photographing Mom March 30, 2011 at 9:30 am

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, Tracie!!! Thank you for being a Godly woman in our world today!

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  16. Nancy March 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

    AMAZING! You are amazing! I love, love, love this post & am so incredibly inspired by your choice! “what the enemy has intended for bad … our Lord will turn for good” I hope all your “new” readers catch that and learn it IS TRULY POSSIBLE! We’re praying for you!

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  17. Jennifer March 30, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family! I want to also thank you for everything that you do and share with everyone. I found your blog with all the wonderfully creative parties that you do, but have followed you daily because all of the wonderful posts you complete. I love learning about your family and seeing your walk with God. It is such an inspiration to me! Please do not stop sharing about what you do! Also, I live vicariously through all of your family trips to Exuma!! What a beautiful place, and loved learning about the church and people you have visited there!

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  18. Cathy March 30, 2011 at 9:52 am

    YES!! Your faith is so inspiring and encouraging. Even in our darkest of days He shines a light of salvation. I am praying for you and your continued grace in the wake of the storm. Big big big big big hugs….love and prayers.

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  19. obx888 March 30, 2011 at 10:51 am

    You are an AMAZING CHILD OF GOD!!! He couldn’t ask for anyone better to be carrying out His message! You may be ask Him, “really”?, and He’ll say to you, “good job, my good and faithful steward”! My life has forever changed since stumbling onto your blog, and I am so happy to hear you will not be taking it down. Know you have one more in your corner praying for your health and family! God bless you!

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  20. Kristin March 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Heavenly Father we love you and praise your name above all names. Please hear the cry of hurting hearts. Lord we ask that you intervene and bring healing to lives and relationships. We don’t fully understand why things have happened the way that they have, but Lord please let your glory shine and souls be won to the Kingdom of Heaven.
    Oh Lord, these circumstances are hard to comprehend let alone bear. Please bring Tracie your peace, courage, strength and the power of the Holy Spirit as your anointed presence surrounds all those involved. We ask for patience and courage to wait upon you with our faith and trust. Please give her the strength of faith to trust that YOU in the circumstances and that your righteousness prevails.
    We wish to see through spiritual eyes full of faith in the face of all these trials and troubles. Let us know that no matter what happens that we ask this, “not by our will” but by “Your will” be done. Lord let us see your truth of what lays beyond these troubles. Let us keep our minds and hearts focused upon you and Heaven to come. Thank you for being the same God today as you were yesterday.
    We love you Lord and give you ALL the glory! Amen.

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  21. Kristine March 30, 2011 at 11:21 am

    I have always been a lurker on your blog – just wanted to say – best post ever – I am praying for you and your family

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  22. Dawn March 30, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Dear Tracie,
    I only know you through your blog and having been reading for a while, I come back because your openness about your faith intrigues me and I like reading about it. I see people who talk about their faith on TV, etc. who seem so insincere, you seem so geniune and real. I hope things get better.

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  23. Molly March 30, 2011 at 11:43 am

    My heart broke for you when I saw the news article about your family. Being a long-time reader and knowing all that you have already faced with your family and personal struggles – this seemed like too much. I am happy to see this strong and determined blog post today. I’m hoping for quick resolution and even quicker and deeper healing. Most would have run and hid, and you stand strong – inspiring! (and an excellent example for your girls)

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  24. annette March 30, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Joshua 1:9 says… “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

    I believe it and I know you do too. Please know that you have many, many people in this town that support you and your family. Let the thousands of gossipmongers hear that!

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  25. Martha March 30, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    tracie! i love your blog and i hope that you don’t take it down…it’s a great place for inspiration and fun ideas…! i love the things that you share!

    a verse came to mind as i read this post, you are such a strong woman–i hope that this encourages you-

    “consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
    james 1: 2-4

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  26. Gretchen March 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Tracie- You are an amazing woman. You truly are an example of being faithful to the Lord. You know that this is your trial and how you weather this horrible storm can be the defining moment in your faith. I so admire you and your girls should be so very proud of you. You are so very special to so many people. Don’t let others bring you down because only you know what is best. I am thinking and praying for you on a daily basis.

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  27. Marie Maitland March 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    You and your family are in my prayers. I only know the part of your story that has been told in the press, and my first reaction was that I must reach out to this woman, my sister in Christ, and let her know that I care about her and love her even though we’ve never met. Because we share the same God, who suffered and died for us so that we might have eternal life. What a blessing and a gift. We have not been forsaken even in our darkest earthly hours. You and your daughters and even your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you through your journey. Jesus loves you so much. Look for his face and follow his light.

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  28. Christine J March 30, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    Well said! Love you and am praying for you.

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  29. Julie March 30, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Tracie, I’ve been following your blog for quite some time and have never commented. I turn to your blog when I need a reminder of my faith and how to implement it into the teaching of my children. I’ve passed your blog along to many of my friends and each time all I say is…you’ll absolutely be inspired. You are a source of inspiration to so many more than you even know. He is using YOU as a messenger to reach all of us that seek Him in our lives. I cannot imagine what you all must be going through but know I’m praying for all of you. When you need to picked up – I’d actually recommend you go thru and re-read some of your own posts. One of my most favorite projects you shared were the “Fear Not” cards with the scriptures. You are an inspriration. Stay strong – we’ll be praying for all of you.

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  30. dawn March 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    i’m just a-sitting here crying. and praying. and sending love to you… beautiful-brave-full-of-faith-YOU! and this? “God has allowed me to look at my trials through His eyes and with His love … not the world’s.” such a beautiful gift that He has placed within you… and i am so blessed that He has called you to share it.

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  31. dawn March 30, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    i forgot this… xoxox.
    i love you.

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  32. mary March 30, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Traci,
    I found your blog a couple of months ago and have loved following you ever since. Even before today, you left an imprint on me to the kind of mom I want to be when I have children. But now I know that I will always remember your example for as long as I live. Keep your eyes on Jesus. He is doing a breathtaking work in your life. Thank you for encouraging me as a younger sister in Christ.

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  33. Steph March 30, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Good for you! (i honestly dont mean that sarcasticly or anything! people always say it like that, but im really not!) I dont think you should ever take your blog down, id miss yours words and pictures too much! and of course, for all the reasons you said! i know EVERY single one of you has a good heart.I wish i could do more to help, but for now ill be Praying and wishing you all well. <333

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  34. Melanie Cross March 30, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    When Satan is looking you in the eye, first thought might be to run and get the heck out of hell…thank you for showing each of us, and most importantly your beautiful children of God, that staying true to God is not always easy, but is always blessed – in His time. Praying for you and yours.

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  35. heidi fannin March 30, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I am so proud to know strong women in my life such as you. You clearly are handling this with love and grace. You are being the best possible example you can be for your girls. Thank you for being you.

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  36. Amy T March 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. You are an inspiration. I truly admire the way you are handling your current situation with grace and poise, and although most of us surely have private issues we all deal with, not many have to deal with them with the magnifying glass of the media hounds upon us. I continue to pray for you and your family and hope for this to pass quickly. Keep on keepin’ on, my friend! :)

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  37. Melissa March 30, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    my heart aches.
    know you are loved with a deep and perfect love.
    praying that the Redeemer of all things will, indeed, be glorified.
    let your light shine on.
    praying for you and your family….

    Reply
  38. Tam March 31, 2011 at 4:56 am

    Hi,
    I recently found your blog (about a week ago I think!) and I follow it now through facebook. I just wanted to say what an encouragement you have been to me! I was diagnosed with Crohns disease last year, so it’s been a difficult one for me. I have two young girls (3 and 6) and I often wonder what the future might hold. Thankfully I have faith in our great and mighty Lord also and I’m so encouraged by your strength and especially your energy in raising your beautiful girls! You inspire me and I just wanted to let you know that. I’m one of your blog followers who is praying for you and thinks that you’re an amazing witness and blessing to many out there who are living with a chronic permanent condition, thanks very much for those reminders that we all need to focus on Jesus and his plan for our lives (as confusing as they can be at times! :))xx

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  39. katherinemarie March 31, 2011 at 7:58 am

    I stand in awe of how God is working in your life!! You can see GOD and LOVE in all you DO!! Your writing, love, joy and creativity in GOD touch all who are blessed enough to read-along. Thanks for showing us all how to live with honesty. :):) I LOVE YOU! I am honored to call you friend.

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  40. granny/mom March 31, 2011 at 9:37 am

    In Matthew 17:5 God the Father says (this is my son, whom I am well pleased) speaking of His son Jesus. I just want to say Tracie, you are my sweet daughter, whom I am so very proud of !!!

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  41. Jen March 31, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    I’m so sorry your family is going through troubled times and wanted to tell you that you are all in my prayers. Take care x

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  42. Jasmine April 1, 2011 at 9:07 am

    Hi Tracie,

    I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks or months ago and subscribed to the rss feeds.

    I live in Singapore and am a Christian. Having read your entry, I just wanted to thank u for opening your heart and life here at this blog. I have found your Christian witness a real encouragement. May you continue to find strength in our Lord!

    Jasmine

    Reply
  43. Kellye April 1, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Tracie, I’ve read some of the commentary above and it is clear – you are making an extraordinary impact on many readers in just the way you are wanting to and just by being you. Your faith, persevering spirit and determination to not give up and to completely trust in God and Jesus is a testament to us all. Thank you for being so brave and for sharing your spirit with us. I feel it spreading; you really let your light shine, woman! I’ll keep praying for you and your family. PS – Ever think about writing or speaking? You could have a column somewhere! :)

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  44. marie April 1, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    You, and your family are in my prayers, for health, healing, and happiness. Keep surrounding yourself with positive love.

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  45. Cheryl April 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    You are strong. You are blessed. God will lead you and through his grace you will know what to do. Follow your heart and know I am with you.

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  46. Kate April 2, 2011 at 12:16 am

    I am so proud to call you my friend! You are so strong, courageous, amazing, an inspiration…I could seriously go on and on! Thank you for being you! XOXO!!

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  47. Karri April 2, 2011 at 11:03 am

    I am not sure what your family is going through- I just assumed it was your MS, and I am sorry that I assumed that :( From reading your blog, there’s one thing I can tell, and its that you’re an incredibly strong woman. And an inspiration to many, including your girls. My thoughts are with you during this time. Remember to stay true to yourself. And allow yourself to draw strength from those who love you.

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  48. Heather April 2, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Remember at Lori’s funeral when you said that you hope to show Jesus to the world as you go through your trials…then you were talking about MS…but now, even through the worst of circumstances HE is shining BRIGHTLY through YOUR life, my friend. I am so incredibly proud of you and your determination to put HIM first. I love you.

    Reply
  49. terrie April 3, 2011 at 10:25 am

    tracie, i’m glad you are continuting your blog… it not only makes you happy, it makes us happy, too! love you and God bless

    Reply

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