Forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator.
Forgiveness liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself.
It has less to do with what somebody else did as much as
it does with your decision to move on with your
life and not be continually victimized by rehearsing that
issue or incident over and over again.
~ Bishop T.D. Jakes
I read a People magazine online article about a falsely accused former California high school football star. Brian Banks had hopes of an NFL career. Instead, the accusations of kidnap and rape, when he was just sixteen years old, put him in jail for five years and labeled him a sex offender for another five years.
When the girl who falsely accused him reached out to admit she had lied ten years earlier, he gained his freedom and his name was cleared.
When Matt Lauer interviewed him on the Today show and asked if there were any consequences given to the accuser, Brian replied, “I haven’t given it much thought.”
When asked if he had any thoughts of revenge, “No,” said Banks. “It’s easy to have those feelings initially when you first hear the story. I’ve been dealing with this now for ten years, and I’ve had my moments where I was very angry, and very vengeful. But I know it was best for me to try and move forward in a positive manner, and for the betterment of me. It hurts no one but myself to hang onto that type of negative energy, and it will only keep me in a stagnant position.”
Amen Brian, Amen!
If faced with the same situation, I wonder how we’d react?
Based on the comments left on the article, it seems Brian’s thoughts on forgiveness are in the minority. At the time of this writing, there are 216 comments and as I scrolled through just the first few pages of them, most all are full of judgment and hate to the woman who falsely accused Brian.
Here’s a piece of one comment I read, “He’s the better man for forgiving her though . . . I would slap her then sue her, and shame her into hiding. That’s just me though. I think it’s ridiculous how someone can accuse you of something you DID NOT DO, and get paid for it.”
Most of them are very similar.
I was shocked. And angered. How can these people spew such hate and feel it’s their right to judge? Sometimes the judgment of others hurts worse than the crime. I know this from personal experience.
The Bible tells us it’s not our place to judge.
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, “Let me wash your face for you,” when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-5 {MSG}
Think about the passage we read yesterday about the adulterous woman whose crime deserved death by stoning as punishment. Instead Jesus said, “Anyone here who has never sinned can throw the first stone at her.”
When everyone took a quick reflection of their own sin, they dropped their stones and walked away.
Friends, we are all sinners. Can’t we too, drop our stones and leave judgment alone? <– tweet this
What Brian offered to his accuser is radical forgiveness. Could we offer the same?
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{read 31 days of forgiveness from the beginning}
Love you and the words of truth you speak! :)
i hate {yes, hate} those comments left on news articles. i cannot imagine the level of hate for the world it must take to write them…
this, today, just made me realize how heavy the hanging on can be… and i can imagine waking up one day and just needing if gone. that the weight just isn’t worth dragging down the rest of your life. it took me a long time to know that forgiveness wasn’t “for” the other person… that is ultimately for me… that it doesn’t make the situation ok, it makes me ok…
Before we can live together in an eternal community, we must be assured that there is nothing within us or others that might escalate or evolve into problems in the future. After all it would not be paradise if we continue to bring up all of our old issues among one another.
When we leave the earth…we go through our life review. We are encouraged to seek our own justice and atonement by going to the parties we have hurt in our lives and asking them to tell us what they want from us in order to make amends. People out there, Solamenta will await the arrival of those on earth that they have committed transgressions against… if they are not already out there in order to make their amends; provided that is, if they are inclined to do so. For example… it’s a humiliating experience for a man to go to his best friend from the earth and confess to him that he had an affair with his wife, stole something from him, cheated him, talked behind his back etc. This is one of the reasons that many wives and husbands don’t continue their relationships out there.
Forgiveness is a concept, granted it is a sterile and morose concept but nevertheless, it has flourished in spite of the fact there is little if any strength behind the words “I forgive you”. These words mean in essence, let’s forget about it. Forgiveness is a concept that has outlived its time!
Instead, let’s consider a more logical approach to resolving our differences….
Hated enemies who find themselves fighting on the same side, become brothers on the battlefield because they are necessary for each other’s survival. When we understand from a logical perspective that you and I are necessary for each other’s eternal survival, we no longer need to say the words, “I forgive you,” but rather, “I understand how badly we need each other”!
http://www.divineadvancedhumanbeings.com/the-process-and-action-required-for-forgiveness/
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