I'm a redeemed child of God and the momma to four vivacious daughters. I'm passionate about finding hidden blessings in the trials of life, living it out in an honest and open way, while encouraging those around me to believe in better.


i lost my voice … part 2

I’ve been thinking about these posts for a long while now. Pondering whether I should share my thoughts or not.

You see, being busy, busy, busy is more of an excuse why I’m not writing. And while it’s a very real excuse, it is just that … an excuse.

Because we make time for what’s important to us, don’t we?

Excuses aside, the reason I stopped writing is because I lost my voice.

All of this has been brewing inside of me for months now. I want to write again … desperately. But I’ve been stifled.

And then, leave it to good ol’ Pinterest … I saw this article pinned and it screamed at me to share my thoughts.

Number 5. Don’t lose your voice.

And there just might be another one or two I can relate with. But mostly it was the DON’T LOSE YOUR VOICE, that screamed at me! {just like that too, in all caps!}

As I mentioned the other day, I really do live as an open book and I’ve pretty much always written that way too. And when some things happened that I couldn’t write as an open book anymore, I found myself treading lightly in my writings.

And then I’d get “hate” comments. On my blog, on Instagram. Emails. Amazon and B&N reviews of my books.

I’m not the kind of person who lets those sort of things get to me. I don’t dwell on them. Sure, it sucks and hurts … I’m human. But life is short, I’ve got a limited amount of physical and emotional space, and frankly … bigger fish to fry!

So I shake it off and move on.

And then it happens again. And again. And slowly, I don’t know what to write anymore … or how to write anymore. Cuz it really does take the wind out of ones sails when they’re being attacked.

Also? {warning, this leads off onto a bit of a rabbit trail!}

I always … always, always … try to be inspiring in what I write. Believing in better … it’s what I stand for.

Despite what social media shows, most days are a struggle for me. Either my health, the kids, our situation, or the crazy that somehow falls upon us! #neveradullmoment seems to be our hashtag for life!

Just for kicks, let me share a sample. Last week, on vacation, we were all getting ready to go to the beach. Ahhh … the beach some might think. And yes, I’m thankful we had the beach before us and I might’ve even posted a beautiful photo from the beach when I got there …  but what I failed to mention was the crazy I’d just been faced with.

Sorry … off track … my point is that social media covers up a multitude of underlying crazy.

So we’re getting ready to go to the beach when Hunter comes into the room saying her underarm was itchy and hurting. I take a look, and wouldn’t you know? Her skin strep/staph infection had returned even worse than the first time. She had open wounds all over her underarm. We’re on a third-world deserted island and I was trying like crazy to get her a very-hard-to-find {in the States!} topical ointment. And also an antibiotic.

When in comes Piper with a bad bloody nose.

While my mom was voxing to see if I could load a video that Piper desperately wanted to see. {I love you mom!}

In the meantime, I was also trying to process a message I’d just gotten from our vet. Taylor’s new puppy, Mocha, was attacked at the kennel by another dog and had wounds on her face they needed to take care of … so the kennel sent her over to the vet for clean-up and observation {they were worried about brain swelling}. That had happened the day before, but what I was trying to process was a new message from the vet.

While Mocha was eating, she choked on her food and died. Fortunately, because they were already worried about her and watching her closely, a technician was right by her side while Mocha was eating. The tech immediately intubated and resuscitated her and she fully recovered.

So while all of the above was happening, I was also trying to get more information from the vet. And also knowing I wouldn’t be able to tell Taylor until we returned from our vacation … or I’m pretty sure she would’ve swam home … it was killing me to keep this information from her.

All that while trying to get ready to go to the beach. “Ahhh, but the beach,” some might think. Yes, the beach … with a ten pound beach bag of stress.

{please join me Friday as I finish up my thoughts?}

I lost my voice – part 1
I lost my voice – part 3

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Posted in deep thoughts, writing

10 Responses to “i lost my voice … part 2”

  1. Love this. Soooo happy that you found your voice again friend. Love to hear your encouraging, inspiring, loving words.
    Button Bird Designs recently posted..white spray paint and a head.

  2. Susan Lesperance says:

    Tracie, your voice is not lost…it is clearly evident in this post. You tell your readers a story of what is behind the beach photo in a way that brings a tear to the eye. Today’s post reminds us of the time you take out of a very hectic life to write this blog. As for the haters, they will always be around…keep shaking them and their negativity off! Remember that there are many of us who find our day brightened by your blog. Thank you for believing in better–and sharing with us how to do it in our own lives.

    • tracie says:

      i really should have mentioned … for as many “haters” there are, there are twice as many people who have offered nothing but support, prayers, and encouragement. thank you for being one of those people!!

  3. Oh yay! I’m so glad you are finding your voice!!! You are much better than I am about taking mean comments personally. I wish I was more like you as far as that is concerned. I am so sorry to hear about your puppy. We just got a puppy right before Christmas and I would just die if anything happened to him. Thanks for the mention!!! xoxo

  4. Barbie says:

    I cannot imagine anyone giving you hateful comments. Really? But anyways, you have a voice and I love hearing about all that is happening in your REAL life. You are so right in that social media paints such a warped view of reality.
    Barbie recently posted..Counting to See!

  5. My dear, sweet friend! I got a little misty when I read about Mocha, and of course was relieved to read of the quick response she received. What a miracle! Received your beautiful card this week. Breathaking girls & inspired words, you are a very gifted woman. Thank you. Have been sick for weeks, so its arrival lifted my spirits. :) Can relate to the lost voice, have been struggling with that the past year. Its a lonely place to be, in the middle of crazy without the ability to vocalize. My goal I to reclaim my voice this year. On an entirely different note, have you seen the movie “The Magic of Belle Island” with Morgan Freeman & Virginia Madsen? Watched it this evening and I couldnt shake thoughts of you & your girls. Beautiful, refreshing story. And I guess its not such a different note after all as its a tale about finding one’s voice again. Hang in there and know that ya’ll are loved! ::hugs::
    Keely aka LKP recently posted..2014: New Year, New Stuff

  6. dawn says:

    my goodness… and i was wondering if wynt had been okay there! the running never stops, does it? just keep breathing! xoxo {or trying to!}
    dawn recently posted..we’re going to the zoo

  7. […] like to start by clarifying something from the last post that might’ve been taken the wrong way … “social media covers up a multitude of […]

  8. […] I lost my voice – part 2 I lost my voice – part 3 […]

  9. Abbie says:

    Oh, girl! I hear you on losing your voice. I have been paralyzed due to mean, scary, real life trolls who invaded my (no longer) personal blog. I gave up, gave in… whatever you want to call it… I walked away. I still WANT to blog, but dammit… I hate trolls. HUGE hugs. XOXO
    Abbie recently posted..Welcome

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