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I'm a redeemed child of God and the momma to four vivacious daughters. I'm passionate about finding hidden blessings in the trials of life, living it out in an honest and open way, while encouraging those around me to believe in better.

2
Jun

melancholy peace

Is that an oxymoron?

Cuz that’s what I felt this morning … peace, tinged with melancholy.

Peace that my baby girl, um … I mean miss teenager, was on her way home.

Peace that I wasn’t working and could be there for her arrival.

Peace that I could stand outside with Piper during field day and not worry about: getting somewhere, doing something, and the hundred other things I use to worry about.

And when I saw the image below, it was almost too surreal for me … I wanted to capture it and ‘journal’ my thoughts.

060509-children

{taken via iphone}

Taylor was scheduled back from her class trip {to Washington DC} this morning.  She was suppose to be in at 8, but we got a call they’d be a little later … 9:30.  So I dropped the girls off at school this morning, got some gas, went grocery shopping and then back to school to get Taylor.

I was a little early and today happens to be the Primary School Field Day {they look forward to this all year}.  I was sitting in my car, then thought I’d venture out to see if I could find Piper and her class.  I did and she was so excited to see me.

It’s a gorgeous day and I loved the absolute feeling of peace and serenity I was feeling deep inside me.  Joy at the thought of seeing Taylor any minute, and so happy I could be there with Piper.

I saw Taylor’s buses pulling in, so said good-bye to Piper and headed over to the buses.

As I was walking across the school yard and parking lot, I saw Wynter’s bus pulling out for their picnic field trip at a nearby playground.  As her bus was pulling away, I started waving.

Still feeling this complete serenity inside … I look up just at the moment of Wynter’s bus passing Taylor’s bus {well, technically Tay would be in the first bus, but you get my jist}, and the kids outside for Field Day {and technically, Piper’s on the other side of the school yard, but you get my jist}.

I quickly grabbed my phone and took a picture of it.  I’m not sure why, but this one image holds a lot of feeling for me.

It could just be the ‘place’ I’m at right now.  I’ll post on it soon {I know you’re dying to hear! ;) }, but I’m so excited about my future, my new goals, my new life with my family.  It could be all of that.  It could be the verge of summer break that we’re facing …

Or it could be that there’s a real possiblity all my girls won’t be together next year.  I’ve mentioned many times how much I love knowing all my girls are in one spot.  And next year, Hunter starts at the girls school too.  All four girls in one spot.  I love that thought … it fills me with joy.

Problem is, Taylor may not be going back to the same school.  She’s gone through a pretty rough year at school and we’ve finally given her the option of not returning.  She’s in the process of thinking about what she’d like to do and we don’t have a strong answer yet.  Obviously, it’s not one we made lightly … or continue to make lightly.  With her going to another school, it’ll pretty much wreak havoc on our family.  The potential school is a half hour from the house in the complete opposite direction, with school hours very different from the current school.

Taylor’s done with school now {the little girls still have a few days next week}, and maybe that’s the reason this image is so melancholy for me?  It may be the last time I’ll have all my girls at one school …

We’ve prayed far and wide for direction on this one.  And I rest knowing it’s in God’s hands.

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Posted in children, family thoughts, field trip, parenting, taylor

 

One Response to “melancholy peace”

  1. Kris K.L. says:

    sigh…. i just know that feeling tracie… about different situations of course but
    i just totally know that feeling… and i’m happy for you, and your photo even
    made me happy! i think its a mom thing.. something that gets put inside of you or grows inside of you while your carrying your child…i always tell beth that someday when she becomes a mom she will know how and why and what i feel for her … i guess its hard to put into words but you know what i mean.. its a good thing
    and next year even if your girls are not all in the same place it will be ok too… maybe its god’s way of preparing you (gently) for when Taylor goes away to college ?? and then if your anything like me… you’ll just hang out with her as much as you can in her dorm and then cry when you have to leave… : ) hee hee ..mostly kidding!
    happy start to your summer ! xo

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