13 Jun
dear weary mom, he sees you!
Dear invisible weary mom who isn’t all that invisible — I’m warrioring along side of you.
I know how you feel because I too, feel invisible. My own life lost in the weariness of raising children.
Join me at Hope For the Weary Mom as I share my thoughts today.
Posted in guest post, parenting, weary mom
16 May
dear weary mom
Dear Weary Mom,
I don’t remember exactly how it happened, all I remember is how quickly it happened. That, and the sheer panic, terror, and fear that followed.
SMASH!
I’d slammed on my gas pedal instead of the brake. Right into the back of my daughter’s car.
Shaking, I jumped out of my car and ran over to her. She was sobbing asking why I did it. On the verge of sobs myself, I yelled told her I didn’t do it on purpose!
We pulled over to look at the damage and get a grasp on what just happened. We held each other and cried. She asked why she just couldn’t get a break? I countered with, “Why can’t our family just get a break?” Life seems to be throwing us one train-wreck after another.
Soul-crushing wreck, after soul-crushing wreck.
Can anyone relate? Do any of you wonder when you’ll just catch a break?
I am plumb worn out. Physically. Emotionally. I feel like I’ve had all I can take, and I don’t want anymore.
I’m even walking the dangerous line of thinking, “I deserve to have a break!”
And then guilt sets in.
I should be praying more. I should be better at giving it to God — you know, “Let Go and Let God?”
I know what I should be doing. But it’s the doing that has me stuck.
I love God with all my heart and I know I wouldn’t be standing without Him as my guide and strength. I believe this with every fiber my being. I know God loves me. I know my friends and family love me. My faith is unshakeable. It truly is.
Yet, there are times lately I just can’t seem to get out from underneath the weary and hopeless state I find myself in.
If you’ve ever felt this kind of hopelessness, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
“I’m tired. I’m worn. My heart is heavy. From the work it takes to keep on breathing. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world. I know I need to lift my eyes up.
But I’m too weak.
And life just won’t let up.”
I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen Tenth Avenue North following me around over the last few months! How then, I wonder, did they write a song just for me … and countless others who are struggling right now?
Friends, on this link, Mike shares some beautiful thoughts. If you have the time to watch, I’d really encourage you to do so.
I absolutely and completely agree with Mike, “it’s rarely the easy and comfortable times that God’s doing something good.”
He changes us in the mess of life. “Our God is a God who brings beauty out of pain.”
{if you’re reading from an RSS feed, click here to view video}
Worn
:: Tenth Avenue North ::
I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
{chorus}
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I’m worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
{chorus}
My prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn
Even before the day begins
I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes
{chorus}
Yes, all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though, I’m worn
I’m worn
And so.
Dear Weary Mom,
Won’t you join me in clinging to the God of all hope? The God who restores. The God who refreshes our weary souls and tired momma feet?
Oh how He loves us my weary friend! He hurts when we hurt. He prays for us:
But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32 {NIV}
He knows we’ll be sifted — He knows when we’re being sifted. And He’s praying for us. That our faith may not fail. That we don’t lose hope.
And catch this, the verse says WHEN you have turned back … It doesn’t say IF you turn back.
In all of our weariness, God has not left us. He’s right beside us, hurting with us. And loving us.
He knows there are times we’ll be weak. And He’s promised to be our strength in those weary times.
One thing I know for sure? God doesn’t break His promises.
So as I tuck my weary bones into bed tonight, I will thank Him once again for getting me through the day. Sometimes, that’s all I can muster, just get through the day. My hope? It lies in His promise that I will rise, I will conquer, and I will turn back to strengthen my weary mommy friends.
From one tired momma to another … but always with hope,
Tracie
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I mentioned yesterday, and I’ll mention again today — Hope for the Weary Mom has a new blog and lots of encouragement, hope, and love in store for you! You’re not alone weary mom. We’re all in this together! Click over and be filled!
Posted in faith, music, parenting, weary mom
21 Apr
nothing is wasted …
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 {NIV}
My firstborn turns 18 years old today. I know it’d be very cliche to ask where the time went … yet, as I look at this photo and reflect over the years we traveled together, I can’t help but think … where did the time go?!
The other day, Taylor was riding a different horse at the barn — for reasons I won’t go into as it’d be a whole different post — but right now she’s riding a couple different lesson horses to just have some fun and get her own riding back on track.
As she poked around the arena on a verrryyyy slowwww guy, her mood was light, she had a smile on her face {few and far between these days}, and commented, “He feels just like Clover.”
I was immediately struck by the thought, “Sometimes to start fresh, you have to start at the beginning.”
You see, Taylor basically found her riding passion on that trusty ol’ mount. Even today, Clover holds a irreplaceable and special place in our hearts.
Clover was Taylor’s beginning.
Lately, she’s had some crazy trouble with her horse and needs a fresh start in riding. She needs to have fun again.
Taylor’s been struggling … with a whole lotta stuff going on in her life, she’s been struggling. And right now, as she’s turning eighteen, she feels like she needs a fresh start.
Hold on … I’m not planning on going into a “whoa-is-Taylor-she’s-had-it-so-rough” thing. Truth is, I’ve been chastised for not “letting her get over it.” Along that line and as a side note, I would like to share something about my parenting …
When my children are walking through a valley in life, I don’t stand outside of that valley and shout down to them, “Put your big girl panties on and get over it already!”
No. That wouldn’t do us any good.
Instead, I walk down into that valley with them. I take them, I guide them, I encourage them, and we put their big girl panties on together.
Meaning … I don’t sit in their valley with them. I don’t allow them to sit in their own valleys. But in order to get them out of the valley, I need to meet them where they’re at, take them by the heart, and walk them through it.
How can a child — or anyone for that matter — “get over something” when they don’t have a guide out?
Anyway.
That said, I’ve been walking Taylor through quite a few valley’s as of late and she’s desperately searching for a fresh start in her life.
Eighteen years old. A milestone birthday. Adulthood? Gaaaa … this momma isn’t too sure about that one! Talking with a friend the other day, we agreed adulthood should be changed to twenty-one or thirty-five!
Tay … my sweet Tay … I want you to know I hear you. I see you. I feel you. I pray for you. And as much as this mommy loves you with all of her heart … your Father in heaven loves you THAT much more. I can only imagine how proud He must be of you Taylor.
He’s allowed almost every trial imaginable. And you’ve persevered. Yes, it’s been through tears and anguish you’ve persevered, but you’ve also done it with unimaginable grace.
Baby, I heard this song the other day and you immediately came to mind. Sweet girl, please let your heart be wide open as you listen to each word and let God speak into your life. Listen to His promises for you …
What if every tear you cry, seeds the ground where joy will grow? Fields … acres and acres of fields of joy are what He has in store for you. I believe it Taylor.
You can lean on me and I’ll believe for you … and in time you will believe it too.
Happy birthday love. There’s no way I could be more proud of you …
Nothing Is Wasted
:: Jason Gray ::
The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope’s a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow
{chorus}
Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
It’s from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what’s lost will be found again
{chorus}
When hope is more than you can bear
And it’s too hard to believe it could be true
And your strength fails you half way there
You can lean on me & I’ll believe for you
And in time you will believe it too
Sometimes we are waiting
In the sorrow we have tasted
But joy will replace it
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our redeemer
Nothing is wasted
Posted in birthday, family thoughts, music, parenting, taylor
3 Apr
“i prayed!”
You might remember the other day I mentioned Grace? Wynter’s potential new pony? And how we weren’t sure? And she was having a ride that afternoon which would give us a better indication if it was a good fit for her?
Well … it didn’t go well. At all.
Wynter seemed completely confused in her riding, which made Grace even more confused. And frankly, they looked like a hot mess of skills colliding in the arena.
I took lots of video, both of Wynter riding and of her trainer “training.”
I talked to Wynt on the ride home and gently suggested she should take time to study the video, listen to her trainer, and see what she could do differently the next day … her last ride with Grace — the decision making ride — is this the pony for her, or would we have to keep looking?
She seemed intent on what I was saying and determined to have a good ride the next day. Welllll … when we got home, she went to her room to change and seemed to come out as quickly as she went in. I asked if she studied the video and she told me, “not really.”
I was disappointed.
If this pony meant as much to her as she told me, why didn’t she care enough to put a little effort into having a better ride?
The next day, I picked her up from school and as we headed to her lesson, I gently prepared her for the fact that Grace may not be the pony for her and it may not work out. And if it didn’t, I fully trusted there was an even better pony out there for her.
She agreed.
I was so nervous as I watched her begin her lesson. Pretty much sitting on the edge of my seat.
And then.
Something happened.
She looked like a completely different rider from just the day before. I was shocked. Seriously shocked.
And then this …
Her first time jumping!! She’s been wanting to learn to jump so badly over the last month, but the time just hadn’t come yet. She still had things to learn to prepare for this next step.
I heard her trainer futzing with the standard cups {the things that hold the pole you jump over}, and I thought, “no … that can’t be for Wynt.”
Sure enough. She put the poles up and had Wynter pop over them. She even raised them once!
When her lesson was over, her horse put away, and we were walking to the car, I asked her what made such a huge difference in her riding from the day before?
She answered so matter-of-factually, “I prayed!”
She went on to explain, the day before when she went to her room to change {when *I* thought she should be studying her video}, she spent 20 minutes praying asking God to help her in her riding.
Sigh. It’s moments like these my children teach me a thing or two about faith.
Is there a time your child “out-faithed” you?
Posted in faith, parenting, prayers, riding, wynter
26 Mar
my heart …
Hunter’s somehow taken up residence in my bed. Shhh … don’t tell anyone … but beside those heel-to-my-ribs midnight jabs, I really don’t mind. There’s something comforting knowing my babygirl is snuggled up next to me.
I didn’t always feel this way, but slowly she’s wiggled her way in and it no longer seems important to make her leave. My reasons were mostly selfish anyway.
I used to do my morning quiet time in my bedroom. I have a fireplace, coffee maker, my Bible and necessary accoutrements all within an arms reach. And seriously … how inconvenient for me to go into the next room so she can sleep in the morning!
But like I said … she wiggled her way in, and I no longer see it as an inconvenience. And instead of pining for my comfy bedroom luxuries, I’ve moved my morning time to the living room.
Let me take a moment and be brutally honest about something … lately, I have been completely and utterly exhausted. I used to have an internal alarm that would wake me at 5:00 am. Up and at’em, I was raring to go! But now? It takes all I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning to get my prayers and quiet time in before I start the day. Some days my snooze button gets a better workout than I do.
But. I know. I’ve learned. If I’m not intentional about my morning time — even if 10 minutes is all I can muster — then I’m basically willing my day to go astray.
All that to say …
Hunter’s my earliest riser and most mornings she finds her way out to the living room for some early morning snuggles, before a little iPad or TV time.
But last week, she completely shocked me! She was getting ready for bed and asked me to wake her up so we could do “quiet time” together. She told me she had her Bible, pens, and paper all ready to go for the morning.
My first impulse was to tell her she was crazy!! Ain’t no way a momma’s gonna wake a sleeping baby before sunrise to do “quiet time.” Not to mention the fact she’d interrupt my quiet time!
Instead I bit my tongue.
Yes babygirl … I’d be honored to have quiet time with the Lord together.
And we did.
Is there something you stay intentional about and see it pay off in your children?
Posted in hunter, intentional, parenting
